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Current counts: Authors: 8,146. Quotations: 38,970
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| Jeff Foxworthy
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did. If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck. The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door. You might be a redneck if you've been too drunk to fish. |
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Sports Quotations.
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