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Current counts: Authors: 8,146. Quotations: 38,970
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| Joan Rivers
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a labotomy. Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery. My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash. Never floss with a stranger. Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top. Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found. There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. |
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Sports Quotations.
Show Business Quotations.
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