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Current counts: Authors: 8,146. Quotations: 38,970
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| Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive? I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life. My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy. My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact. The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect. |
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