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Wilson Mizner


  • A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

  • A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

  • Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

  • Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

  • I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.

  • If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

  • Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

  • To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

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